Is your Partner Fed Up Of You Being Crabby In The Morning?

If you’re anything like me, the morning always comes too soon! There are those like my husband who jump out of bed in the morning full of energy ready to go for a mile long run, and there are people like me who just can’t open their eyes!! I am after all, an Organic Pillow lover and so I love my bed! It can be quite disconcerting if you are up and ready and your partner just won’t budge! “What a waste of the day” he thinks! “Let me sleep” she thinks!! Disputes like this can lead to very irritated weekends. According to sleep researcher and Sleep for Success CEO James B. Mass, sleep cycles are genetically determined, and women are more likely than men to be larks. Although this is not the case in my house, James says "You can't blame a person, it's not environmental," "owls," function better at night, have a body temperature that doesn't begin to rise until later in the morning. In my quest to try and become a morning person is there anything I can do? James says “Yes, but it's not easy”. It helps to be exposed to daylight immediately after getting up. Take a 15-minute walk, or get an FDA-approved light for indoor use, he suggested. “Walk I say!!! I can barely drink my tea, without drooling!” As long as you and your partner remain in different time zones, the best you can do is learn to understand and respect each other's nature. "It's important to work this out because it's how your day starts and you don't want to be irritated every single morning," said Suzanne Berman, a psychotherapist in private practice in Fair Lawn, N.J., who has worked with couples for more than 25 years. She offered the following tips for couples: • Communicate with each other: Don't expect your partner to guess what you need or what you're feeling about your morning dynamics. • Make each other your priority: "If your behaviour is continuously irritating the other person, the statement you're making is that you don't care about their needs," Berman said. This might mean not being able to make that morning phone call while your husband is still sleeping, for instance, but it's important to realize that seemingly-small acts build up over time and can cause resentment and create distance between partners. • Learn to Compromise: If you want the alarm set for 6:40 a.m. so you can sleep as long as possible, but he wants it at 6 a.m. to have extra time to wake up, try setting it for 6:20. "The couple needs to work something out so that both people feel their needs in the morning are being respected," she said. • Have realistic expectations: "If your husband isn't going to make it to the breakfast table, maybe you need to stop making his breakfast," Berman suggested. And stop trying to have that deep conversation in the morning. "Don't keep pushing your own agenda. That won't get you anywhere; you’re wanting something your partner can't give you." • Except Reality: "People are who they are, with their habits and routines," Berman said. The notion that 'If you loved me, you'd change,' is fantasy. Instead, tune into what your partner is telling you about themselves, and take that seriously. • Accept Each Other As You Are: Accept that you are two separate individuals: "You're a couple, but you're not the same person," Berman said. "It's hard for couples to accept this, especially women. I can happily say that me and mine have overcome these morning issues and we understand each other’s morning routine now (most of the time ;) !)